EP 1August 5, 202622:32
The Accidental Superpower of Motherhood: Becoming Invisible
MotherhoodPostpartumMaternal IdentityMental LoadParenting JudgementMatrescence
Motherhood's most accidental superpower: becoming invisible. An episode about the strange paradox of being almost completely overlooked as an individual, while becoming hyper-visible whenever something needs doing for your baby.
You become a mum and suddenly you're a superhero.
You're keeping a tiny human alive, interpreting noises that make absolutely no sense to anyone else, anticipating dangers before they happen and somehow functioning on very little sleep.
But there's another superpower nobody really warns you about.
You become invisible.
Not literally, obviously. You've probably never been more needed, more watched or more responsible. But somewhere between the birth announcements, the baby questions, the feeding advice and the endless checking that the baby is doing alright, the person underneath the word "mum" can start to disappear.
Why does everyone ask how the baby is, but not necessarily how you are? Why does pregnancy put mothers in the spotlight, only for that spotlight to seemingly vanish once the baby arrives? And why, when you're doing everything society expects of you, can your work become even more invisible?
It's time to talk about it.
In short
Becoming a mother can make you simultaneously indispensable and invisible. Everyone sees what you do for your child, while somehow seeing less of the woman doing it.
What we're talking about
- 0:00
Unveiling motherhood's accidental superpower: becoming invisible
Motherhood can make you feel more needed than you've ever been, while somehow making you feel less visible as an individual. Gizelle explores that contradiction, from the moment the baby becomes the centre of every conversation to the realisation that people are often seeing "Mum" rather than the woman underneath.
- 02:04
Why can motherhood make you feel invisible?
The early days can come with endless questions about feeding, sleeping and the baby's health, while the mother's own recovery, emotions and needs become an afterthought. What does it feel like to be asked how you're doing when you're not sure where to begin?
- 04:42
The postpartum post: romanticised motherhood and platitudes
"Enjoy every moment." "It gets better." Usually well intentioned, but platitudes land very differently when you're exhausted. This section explores the gap between the romanticised version of postpartum life and the messy reality of living it.
- 10:02
From blinding spotlight to invisible shepherd
Pregnancy can feel like one long spotlight: the due date, the birth plan, the nursery, the name. Then the baby arrives and the spotlight follows the baby instead.
- 12:41
Why is Mum suddenly visible when something needs doing for the baby?
Sometimes Mum becomes very visible indeed, but only when something needs doing, something has gone wrong, or someone thinks something isn't being done correctly. You're expected to know, remember and manage everything, while being judged for how you do it.
- 16:18
Beyond the cape: reclaiming visibility and recognition
Gizelle isn't asking for a superhero cape. She wants something more basic: to be recognised as a person. Small ways to reclaim visibility, from insisting people remember your name to answering honestly when someone asks how you are.
- 20:40
A message to others: see the woman beyond the mother
A closing message for anyone who has forgotten there's a whole person behind the role of "Mum": someone with hopes, dreams, exhaustion, opinions and a life beyond nappies and feeds.
The takeaway
- Becoming a mother can make you feel simultaneously essential and invisible.
- Asking about the baby isn't the same as asking about the mother.
- The romanticised version of motherhood can leave very little room for difficult or complicated feelings.
- The more invisible work a mother takes on, the easier it becomes for that work to disappear from view.
- Mothers don't need to be called superheroes. Sometimes they just need to be seen, heard and appreciated.
If you've ever felt like everyone can see what you're doing, but somehow nobody is actually seeing you, this one's for you.
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